I Never Mean't To Break
by pinxholestars
Summary: When your world is torn apart are you really whole? Samantha Lake's life is torn apart by the sudden death of her mother. Her life as she knows it now a distant memory when she is sent to live with her grandparents on La Push Reservation.
1. Chapter 1

Prologue

"Samantha, Sam. Are you alright?"

"Huh?" I blinked a few times my eyes coming back into the focus the stern but caring face of the man in front of me becoming clear. I nodded and forced a weak smile, but he looked unconvinced and reached out to me pulling me into a tight hug. "I'm fine Johnny, really." I mumbled into my older brother's shoulder, glancing around the living room of our home – or soon to be old home – sympathetic faces glancing over at us, it made my stomach knot together the same uncomfortable and incomprehensible feeling washing over me again, I had been getting that feeling a lot lately. The stares and looks just made it so much worse though, it made it all too real, the funeral today had been a massive slap in the face for me; it was a realisation that  
she wasn't coming home, and she would never be coming home.

"Veronica wants to talk to you." My brother murmured in my ear and I groaned in protest as he grabbed my hand, shooting me a reproachful glance as we moved through the living room and past the sympathetic eyes towards a dark haired woman in her late thirties who was hovering uncertainly in the doorway of our kitchen. Veronica a social worker, she had appeared at our home a few days after the accident with my mother's lawyer so far she had proved to be nothing but a thorn in my side, her presence here was annoying and I didn't understand why she needed to be here, right now at my mothers wake. It seemed so insensitive like she was trying to rush the inevitable.

"Samantha, dear how are you feeling?" She said in a soothing tone as we sat down at the dining table in the kitchen. I brushed my hair out of my face and shrugged lamely, Johnny had pulled up a seat beside me and out the corner of my eye I could see him smiling encouragingly at me.

I knew she wasn't satisfied with my answer, but I wasn't going to give her anymore. With a small cough she continued "So as you know, I've been going through your mothers will with her lawyers." I let out an involuntary shudder at the word 'will' but she didn't seem to notice and continued talking, reaching across the table and holding my hand, giving it a squeeze. I didn't return the gesture just stared blankly at her.

"As you know the house will be going up for auction at the end of next week, these are you mothers wishes of course, Samantha you do understand that?" Veronica eyed me cautiously, I had narrowed my eyes at her when she reminded me of this fact, I still hadn't comprehended that I would be leaving. "We've discussed this with your brother as well and…" She paused looking expectantly at my brother who let out a sigh and I adjusted my position so I could face him, taking in his expression.

His light olive skin mirrored mine, right down to the freckles scattered on our noses. My mother used to say we had looked so much alike when we were younger, and the similarities were still apparent. I stared up at him, waiting for him to speak he was hesitating unsure of what to say or how to word what he was about to tell me, I could tell he was nervous by the way his eyes glanced around the kitchen instead of resting on me. I followed his glances, to the old grandfather clock that hung on the kitchen wall to the fridge that still proudly displayed our finger paintings from kindergarten, then our eyes fell on each other and I felt my breath catch in my throat, I knew where this conversation was heading and I shook my head letting out a murmured 'no.'

"But you promised." My voice came out strangled, I looked at my older brother with pleading eyes "You promised me that you wouldn't leave me, you wouldn't send me away!" my voice was raising with each word and Veronica flinched as I slammed a hand down on the table, but I hardly took any notice of her my brother was looking at me with a pleading expression trying to find the words to explain himself, but I didn't want to hear it.

"Sammy, I'm in college I can barely take care of myself let alone you, these are nice people otherwise mum wouldn't of left you in their care" I scoffed in outrage. These people being my fathers parents. Complete strangers, I hadn't seen them in twelve years, not since my father passed away and now, now I was expected to go live with these people.

My vision blurred and I could feel warm tears spilling down my face, Veronica reached out to comfort me but I pulled away. I lifted myself from the chair, shaking unsteadily on my feet Johnny stood up to help me. "No." I held a hand firmly in front of me and he sat back down, slumping in his chair as I fled from the kitchen, through the living room of people now shooting questioning glances in my direction, I could hardly make out their faces to even care as I took off up the stairs flinging myself into my room the door slamming closed behind me as I leaned against it. Hugging my knees to my chest as I sat on floor of my bedroom I hiccoughed, strangled sobs escaping my chest.

The pain that had washed over my body was unbearable and the strangled sobs and tears kept coming. Everything had fallen apart, and there was not one damned thing I could do about it.

Chapter One – The End of the Beginning

The feeling in my body was nothing but panic, pure panic and helplessness as I stood in the waiting room of the hospital, a cold cup of coffee in my hand as I paced around. I noticed my brother Johnny slumped in a chair by a withering pot plant, his girlfriend Sarah resting her head on his shoulder watching me with a weary expression. People were walking past me, a lot of them but I kept pacing, no thoughts running through my head but I just felt the need to keep moving because if I wasn't moving I would surely collapse to the ground in an exhausted heap.

"Samantha and Jonathan Lake?" My head snapped up and I tightened my grip around the foam coffee cup in my hand, some of the contents spilling onto the ground, I didn't care I just moved towards the man in the blue gown in front of me, his expression was unreadable and I felt an overwhelming sense of anger at that.

"Yes, yes. How is she?" My words spilled out fast, so fast they didn't make sense, like every second I spent enunciating my words was a second wasted, I didn't even register my brother now standing by my side I just stared into the eyes of the man in front of me, my sharp breaths becoming more panicked each moment he didn't speak.

"I'm sorry…" My stomach lurched and I grasped onto my brother for support, the doctor glanced at the ground and drew in a breath before he continued, but I didn't need to hear his next few words I already new what he was going to say, the words were already burnt into my mind "She didn't make it, I'm so terribly sorry."

­­­­­­­­­­­­­

I sat upright in my bed in a cold sweat, ragged breaths escaping me every few moments as I glanced at the arm clock beside my bed it read seven thirty in digital red numbers, a dull light was filtering through the closed curtains of my empty bedroom. Well empty except for a bed and an open suitcase in the corner. An empty feeling welled up in my stomach as I realised what day it was.

"Already?" I breathed to myself, throwing the blanket off me and pushing myself out of my bed, staggering towards the open bedroom door. I had never been a morning person, and seven thirty was much to early for me but I had a deadline to keep today, and grudgingly to spare myself of anymore drama I would keep that deadline, and make my flight, the flight to some Washington town with a name I couldn't even remember.

I tried not to be bitter about it, but there wasn't much for me to actually be positive about, I know I was overreacting when I said this but I couldn't shake the overwhelming sense of abandonment my brother was leaving me with, by shipping me off to live with these strangers, apparently my grandparents but of course I had not seen them for since I was five so now to me a seventeen year old, they were strangers.

I was being selfish, deep down I knew that. Johnny had thought long and hard about me moving in with him and Sarah's. Living with them in their New York apartment, I found that resolution the most bearable of them all, but of course I knew it was impossible so why had I been so disappointed when I found out what I had basically known all along?

Scrutinizing my face in the mirror, I rubbed at the dark circles under my eyes, running a hand through my mousy brown hair I turned on the tap and splashed cool water on my face the icy feeling on my face waking me up instantly. Well as awake as I could be, I trudged back into the hallway noticing my brother peering up the stairs and expectant look crossing his face, I gave him a wave grimacing as he started up the stairs towards me.

"All packed?" he questioned

"Yeah" I nodded as we moved back into my room, he looked around with me as we took it all in, the bare room with just the bed and suitcase, it had been filled with boxes a little over a week ago but they had all been shipped to who knows where in Washington. We both stood there for a few moments before Johnny moved uncomfortably and headed towards the door, leaving me in my empty room to get ready to leave, and this time leaving meant forever.

"Sarah should be here in about five minutes." I sat on the front step of the house with Johnny beside me; I let out a sigh and furrowed my brow this time tomorrow I would be living in a whole other state, starting a whole new life. Something I'd never imagined myself doing, but then again I never thought I would lose my parents either.

Sarah pulled up in the red rental car giving us a wave as she hopped out of the car. I stood and went to reach for my suitcase but my brother beat me to it, shooting me a smile which I returned as we both looked back at the house as we walked towards the car.

"Wait a second alright?" I called as he shoved the suitcase in the trunk; both Sarah and Johnny shot me confused glances as I turned back to the house removing the camera from the case I had slung around my neck. The camera had been a gift from my mother for my sixteenth birthday; I never left the house without it. It was my mother who helped me fuel my passion for photography, just a hobby of mine for the moment but I had been eager to follow it as a career, my mother and I had talked about it. I wasn't much of a studious person, school was a drag for me I went for my friends and the awesome photography facilities they had there so when I had decided to drop out of my senior year to pursue my passion my mother had been understanding, enthusiastic to help me achieve my dreams.

I drew in a deep breath, my mother had always been understanding to the point of being to lenient on us kids she let us get away with nearly everything.

Leaning against the car, I focused the lens on the quaint brick house in front of me, making sure the 'For Auction' sign wasn't in my view, hearing the satisfied click of the shutter as I snapped the photo. I knew I wouldn't forget this place in a hurry, it was after all my home for seventeen years but a physical memoir, even just a simple photo was something I really needed.

The car ride O'Hare airport was quiet; nobody spoke until we were five minutes from the airport. My brother had let out a soft sigh and adjusted himself so he was facing me as I sat in the back of the car.

"Are you nervous?" He asked, his tone was soft as if he hadn't been sure what words to use. I looked up at him, resting my chin on my duffle bag that I held to my chest. I didn't know what to say, I guessed I was feeling slightly nervous but other stronger emotions seemed to overpower that right now. Like the overwhelming sense of anger and sadness I had about leaving behind the only life I had known for the past seventeen years.

I shrugged in reply; shrugging had been my answer to a lot of questions lately. Like Veronica's constant questions to my wellbeing and mental state which I had to admit to myself was rather questionable at the moment and like my friends asking me if I would ever be back. I was so uncertain about the blank future in front of me I couldn't even find the words to express myself. So I shrugged and prayed they would drop the subject and most of the time out of pity and sympathy they would.

"We better hurry, I didn't think the traffic would be that bad" Johnny hastily grabbed my suitcase from the trunk of the car, Sarah murmured her agreement, I stood outside the car my duffle bag still clutched to my chest. It was nearing the end of the summer break, Chicago summers where confusing it was always humid with a random thunderstorm here and there. I had dressed in jeans and a white cotton t-shirt today, and on my brothers request this morning grabbed a sweater because apparently the town who's name I still didn't want to recall, well the weather there would take some getting used to.

We made our way towards terminal three, Sarah had grabbed onto my hand and I glanced over to her, I noticed her eyes were glassing over and I had to fight back an eye roll, the last think I wanted right now was a tearful farewell it would make it that much harder. I gave her hand a squeeze as we approached the check in, a blonde woman with her hair in tight curls greeted us with an over enthusiastic smile, like tending to my luggage was the greatest thing she had done all day. I swapped amused glances with my brother as we both fought back laughter, I would miss this. I would miss our matching sense of humour over the stupid little things.

With the boarding pass in my hand, I pulled the strap of duffle bag further onto my shoulder we stood at the gate, my brother and eye had both fallen silent when the announcement to board the 435 to Seattle sounded.

Sarah threw her arms around me, I leaned awkwardly against her chest snaking a hand around her and patting her awkwardly on the back. I had always been stunned by how tall and gorgeous Sarah was; she stood at a model like 6'0 while I stood at a pathetic pre-pubescent 5'1.

"You make sure you call us when you get there alright?" Her voice was muffled as she buried her face in the top of my hair, I nodded and replied with an equally muffled 'yes' before pulling away from her bone crunching hug to face my brother, his face contorted into several emotions I couldn't decipher.

"A social worker will pick you up on the other end; Vanessa said his name was Ashley" Social worker, another one just great. I rolled my eyes in spite of myself and Johnny let out an exasperated sigh

"Samantha you better keep that attitude of yours in check when you get to La Push." What the hell was a La Push? I raised my brows quizzically at him before realisation hit me, the reservation I remember now it was called La Push. Pfft what a stupid name. "Our grandparents are kind enough to take you in, no questions asked" Johnny finished pointedly, and I scowled at him.

"Our grandparents, they might be your grandparents but to me they are strangers." I added extra emphasis on the word strangers and watched as by brothers face flashed with annoyance.

"Well you'll be living with these strangers so suck it up. You've never had to sacrifice anything in your life so just take it like an adult." The words stung and I felt my eyes begin to water; I blinked back the tears not noticing that Sarah was scolding my brother. I knew what he was talking about when he mentioned sacrifices, my whole life I had been given everything I wanted, but so had Johnny. Act like an adult? Well the state of Illinois didn't count me as an adult yet that's why I was getting sent to live with these people. Stupid contradicting brother.

The announcement to board my flight went again and I hesitated a moment before making my way towards the gate, I expected Johnny to call out to me, to tell me to stop and that he was sorry, that I wouldn't have to go. He didn't, and disappointment surged through my body as I handed the flight attendant my boarding pass, fighting the urge to look back because if I looked back there was no way I would get on that plane.

She gave me a soft smile that I didn't return, as she showed me to my seat. I was sitting by the window a scruffy looking man wearing a baseball cap who didn't acknowledge me as I sat down, thank god. I had been slightly worried that I would be sat next to some person who was interested in swapping life stories with me, which I had no desire to do.

As I sat watching the same attendant that showed me to my seat running through the typical safety procedures pointing out the emergency exits, my head resting against the cold glass of the window I let out a sigh. I was sixteen with no parents and an uncertain future going to a town with a popular of like fifty people – I know exaggeration but compared to Chicago that's what it felt like.

Of course the moment I found out that I was moving to the reservation with the 'stranger grandparents' I had begun making assumptions, my best friend Lil had fuelled those, according to Lil reservations where filled with troubled youths from troubled families, with gangs, drugs and drinking. It had freaked me out, but Vanessa had assured me La Push was a wonderful place.

I didn't believe her though; I didn't believe one word that ever came out of her mouth.

I glanced out the window, realising that the plane was taking off; my stomach lurched uncomfortably as I watched the houses, buildings and cars below getting smaller and smaller.

Bringing my knees to my chest, I brushed my hair in front of my face making a makeshift veil as I clenched my eyes together tightly, the tears I had fought back before threatening to spill over again as I prayed silently that this was all an awful dream, and I would wake up to the bright smile of my mother her sandy hair in braids, bouncing around my bedroom all excited because we were having frosted strawberry pop-tarts for breakfast.

If I didn't know that this was just my imagination running wild, I was sure I would have let a smile appear on my face.


	2. Chapter 2

"This flight is due to land in fifteen minutes; passengers please fasten seatbelts and put all trays securely up."

I stirred awake, I had fallen asleep shortly after take off, and it was only a short flight. I brushed a hand through my hair and patted it down before fastening my seatbelt. Glancing over at the man next to me who was still asleep, snoring in a dulcet way his head lolling to the side, hesitating for a moment a nudged the man lightly. Jumping in my seat as her jerked awake looking around frantically before his eyed fell on me a confused expression on his face.

"Ugh sorry to wake you but we are about to land" I gestured at the flashing light instructing us to 'fasten our seatbelts'.

"Oh right" The man replied rather gruffly, I bit my lip and shot him an apologetic smile; apparently aware of his gruff tone he shook his head "Sorry, sorry it's been a long week."

"Yeah, it gets like that doesn't it..." I mumbled in reply trailing off as the man diverted his attention to the air hostess, asking her a question I didn't hear as I peered out the window as the plane lowered.

Lugging my suitcase towards the hordes of waiting people, embracing loved ones some crying others laughing, I spotted the man I had sat next to on the flight. He was in a wheelchair, which must have been what he was asking the flight attendant about. Spotting me he gave me an enthusiastic wave a huge grin on his face. I waved back a sheepish grin on my face, a small laugh escaping my lips. He looked so happy, good for him. Well it looks like his bad week is over.

I continued towards the crowd of people, hoisting my duffle bag further up my shoulder as I struggled with the weight of both my suitcase and the duffle bag, barely noticing a blonde man rushing towards me a smile on his face as he grabbed the suitcase from my hand "Here, let me help you with that!"

Taken aback by the mans enthusiasm, I stuttered but nothing coherent came out, and grabbed out at my suitcase. "No, really I don't have any money to pay you for helping me with my bags." Ah a coherent sentence lovely.

Reaching out I snatched my suitcase back, I should be used to these airport types. Flying to New York to visit my brother regularly over the holidays, people helping you with yours bags then demanding a twenty after they assist you. Tricky buggers.

"Thank you though, but no thanks" I added at the man who looked completely baffled by my statement.

"But your Samantha Lake aren't you?" He questioned

"Yeah I'm Sam" I answered, wait how the hell does he know my name? Well no use asking myself "How the hell do you know my name?" I asked, taking a few steps back as a precaution just in case he was some crazy psycho.

Instead of attacking me, like I assumed he would the man just started laughing. Now I was the one staring at him a baffled expression on my face. "I think there has been a misunderstanding, I'm not here to help you with your bags I'm here to get you settled at your new home." The smile not leaving his face, I still stared at him confused. "I'm Ashley, the Social Worker didn't Victoria tell you I was meeting you here?"

"I ugh…Oh yeah" I hadn't forgotten about the Social Worker, I just expected him to look less like…well I don't know what I expected him to look like I just hadn't expected him to come rushing at me to assist me with my bags.

"Alright, now we have that established let me grab that suitcase, you look like your struggling."

Ashley seemed okay, for a Social Worker at least. He was a lot friendlier then Victoria, not that she wasn't friendly Ashley just seemed to be more sincere about it.

"So you're going to love La Push" Ashley said as he turned onto the highway. We had been driving for about an hour, mostly filled with idle chit chat; he had asked me how my flight was. I told him I had slept for most of it; I knew he was waiting for the right moment to mention La Push and my Grandparents.

Social Workers were predictable, establish a little bit of communication then start with observation or in Ashley's case an assumption. How did he know that I would love La Push? He didn't know, he just wanted to hear my answer to open up another question.

"Well I haven't seen it yet, so whatever" I shrugged in a very typical teenager way, I could of just told him flat out that I was sure I was going to hate it there, but then he would ask why and I didn't want to play twenty one questions

"I'm sure you will, anyway we have a while to go. Sorry we couldn't get you a flight into Port Angeles but on such short notice the only flight we could get was to Seattle airport."

"I don't mind really" I shrugged again, fiddling with a heavy silver charm bracelet on my left wrist. Ashley must of notice because a few moments later he asked me what it was.

I held my arm out in front of me, examining each of the charms on the bracelet. "It was my mothers charm bracelet, I was going to have it buried with her but my brother insisted I keep it something to remember her by." My hand falling back into my lap, I attempted a smile in Ashley's direction but it was more like a pained grimace. I didn't mind that he had asked about the bracelet, it was just everything about my mothers death was still so fresh in my mind I couldn't help but feel uncomfortable talking about anything to do with her.

"It's beautiful." He replied simply. I gave another forced smile before turning my attention to the thick green forest that surrounded us, my brow furrowing as rain drops fell on the windshield

"Welcome to Washington Samantha." Ashley announced as he turned on the wipers.

I sighed watching the rain fall, and the green forest passing us in a blur. I pressed my forehead against the cool window and closed my eyes, wishing that I didn't have to welcome Washington and it didn't have to welcome me.

My whole body jerked forward and my eyes shot open, as I looked around frantically. Had we just hit some forest creature or something? Oh god I hope not. Looking over at Ashley, he grinned back at my sheepishly

"Sorry to wake you, I almost missed the house"

House what house; what on Earth was he talking about? I raised a confused brow at him as he gestured out the car window

"La Push reservation" He stated in a matter of face tone "This is your grandparent's house"

My mouth suddenly felt dry, and I licked my lips in a nervous fashion as I straightened myself up and looked out the window. The house was a rather small; a nicer person would call it quaint but I was in no state of mind to be positive about any of this. The garden was full of trees and flowery shrubs and in the driveway sat a faded green pick up truck.

Ashley was already out of the car, getting my suitcase and duffle bag out of the trunk before I had even stepped out of the car. This, finally being here made it seem real. The flight from Chicago was like a distant memory as I walked up the driveway towards the front door, Ashley talking animatedly beside me. I wasn't listening to a word he was saying.

I stood back as Ashley knocked on the door, a dog started to bark. I couldn't recall my grandparents having a dog; well actually I couldn't recall anything about these people.

A few moments later there was a rustling behind the door and the voice of an older woman scolding the barking dog who was going bonkers from behind the door, great I'm going to get mauled by a dog before I even step foot in the house, well at least I wouldn't be living here! Ha, I cracked myself up.

Wrapping my arms around my middle, I hugged at myself protectively as the door opened an unfamiliar face greeting me with a warm smile. The woman had dark skin, typical of most Native Americans, her face aged with lines, crow's feet and laughter lines her long dark hair framing her face, half of it clipped up with a bizarre looking feathered hairclip. She definitely wasn't your typical Grandmother type, dressed in faded jeans and gumboots and a flower print smock, I knew now why the garden was so lush the woman obviously had a green thumb.

"My Sammy, my beautiful Sammy" The woman stepped forward and pulled me into her arms, squeezing me tightly the dog who was a small white fluffy thing stood at the doorway yapping up at me.

"Um hello" I replied awkwardly to her greeting, my arms hanging limply at my side. She pulled away, her hands resting on my shoulders as she examined my face. Averting my eyes to the dog, who was still barking at me. Annoying yap, yap dog

"Goodness you've grown up so much, still short though – like your mother" She stated, I flinched as she patted me on the head turning to Ashley who stood back patiently as my grandmother, who's name escaped me crushed my rib cage.

"All Sammy's things arrived here safely, Ray fixed up the spare room so it's already for her"

"Wonderful, wonderful." Ashley enthused, clasping his hands together before looking towards me a sincere smile on his face "Well this is where I leave you Samantha; I'll give you my card so you can call me whenever you need to. I'm located in Port Angeles so not that far from here" I nodded, taking the card he held out to me. "Don't hesitate to call me ok, but I'm sure Penny here will take great care of you."

Penny, so that was my grandmother's name. I glanced over at her to be met with a warm smile, as if reassuring me that she would look after me. Despite the smile, and the words Ashley spoke I still didn't believe them, but I didn't believe much anymore.

I didn't say anything, just simply waved at Ashley pocketing the card he gave me in my jean pocket. I shuffled nervously on the spot; staring at my feet my grandmother moved over the threshold my duffle bag over her shoulder calling out to me to follow her in.

Grabbing my suitcase I followed her, the dog running around my feet as I followed her through the house. It was small, but I could tell that from the outside. The interior was a filled with warm neutral colors, a lot of wooden furniture, ornaments lining shelves and a large lounge chair and a couch. I noticed the smell of pine and lavender in the air and spotted incense when we passed through the kitchen which reminded me of something out of a fifties sit com, very clean and the dining table was already set – for three people

The hallway was narrow, lined with old family photos. I noticed a few of my father as we walked through, even one including my mother. It looked liked their wedding photo. She stopped just short of the end of the hallway, which led to the back door I could see a glimpse of the backyard, it was much like out the front filled with flowers, trees and shrubs an outdoor table and chair setting sat in the middle beside it an old barbeque pit that looked like it hadn't been used in years.

"This is your room my dear, Ray…I mean your grandfather spent the past week sprucing it up for you." She opened the door and walked in, gesturing with a wave of her hand for me to follow, she looked excited and nervous as I dropped my suitcase inside the door and looked around

The room was a powder blue colour a slight smell of paint in the air. It must have been just recently repainted, there was a single bed in the far corner under the window, dark blue curtains pulled open to reveal the low picket fence and the window of the next door neighbour's house, the curtains drawn closed. There was a dark oak dresser in the corner, complete with a mirror and a lamp and then there where the boxes containing my possessions from my room back home, the room that was no longer mine in the home that would contain a new family very shortly.

I didn't like this room, it didn't feel like mine.

"We didn't want to unpack your things, and left the walls bare because we know how you teenagers like posters and things" She smiled again, glancing to the room then to me nervously, waiting for me to say something.

"Thanks, its great" I lied, managing a half smile on my face. Penny seemed convinced by it though and moved back towards the door

"Well I'll just leave you to get comfortable, your grandfather should be home in about an hour – he's gone down to the school to finalise your enrolment papers"

Still staring around the room, feeling like a lost sheep nodded automatically at her mumbling "Ok" before sitting on the bed, weakly smiling at her as she closed the door behind her.

Wait, did she just say school?

Instead of unpacking, I spent the next hour pacing around the room. I had opened the boxes, and stared at my things – posters and books, a few stuffed animals and all sorts of junk I had collected over the years all of which didn't have a place in this room. The only thing that had been removed from the box was a photo of my brother and me which I had placed on the dresser.

So they had enrolled me at the school, well I was hoping this could be easily resolved because I had no urge to complete my senior year back in Chicago so that didn't change here. I was hoping I could just get some sort of employment, save some money and then move far away.

My pacing continued for another half an hour until I heard another car pull into the driveway followed by Penny calling me out into the lounge room. Gathering my thoughts and some confidence I went into the lounge room, this would be easy enough I would simply tell them I wasn't going to attend school here. Simple enough, oh except by the fact I was met by a six foot something man in the lounge room who resembled a very aged version of my father. Ray, he had broad shoulders and the same weathered face as my grandmother and an unreadable expression on his face as I entered the room.

He was intimidating to say the least.

"So this is young Samantha" I nodded feebly, his voice was strong and intimidating like his general presence. Despite the shared appearance with his son, he didn't share the same warm aura I remember my father had "Well Penny wanted to wait until I was here before we went over the house rules, so take a seat" he gestured at the couch where Penny sat and I took a seat obediently next to her, Ray didn't seem like a man who took disobedience well, which made me more nervous about mentioning the schooling situation.

"We have dinner at seven, every night if your going to be out let us know but we want you home before twelve" He looked at me, as if daring me to protest the curfew. I just nodded waiting for him to continue but instead Penny spoke

"We'd rather you not stay out past nine on school nights though love, but all we ask of you is to help around the house, do your homework and respect us. We are so thrilled do have you with us Sammy, it's such a shame it's because of awful circumstances" I looked at her and gave her a weak smile, despite hating the fact I would be living here I couldn't dislike this woman

"That's all fine, but I just have one thing that well…" I drew in a sharp breath, and looked over at Ray who had sat down on the large lounge chair that was obviously reserved for him "I wasn't planning on returning to school for my senior year, it's just what I had planned with Mom as well" I averted my eyes to my converse sneakers.

I heard Penny cough awkwardly beside me, well now how did I know this wouldn't go well?

"I'm sorry Samantha, but while you're living with us it's our rules, and you attending school is one of those rules" It was Ray who spoke, I could of predicted that.

Great, I was being forced to live with people I didn't know and now attending school with a bunch a troubled teens who like drugs and underage sex, just fucking dandy. Biting my bottom lip, I looked up at Ray who had the same challenging look on his face that he had when going through the house rules.

I opened my mouth to say something, but promptly shut it when I remembered what my brother had said to me at the airport. Keep my attitude in check, I hadn't had to sacrifice anything in my life, so I guess now was the time to. Living with strangers in a place that rained most of the year and attending a school filled with people I didn't know.

"Right" I stood up, and tried to make my expression as blank as possible hiding the anger from my defeat "I'm just going to go finish unpacking then" I was eager to leave the room, to curl up in my strange new bed and just cry until there was nothing left

As I was leaving the room though, Ray spoke again "School starts at eight tomorrow, and don't forget dinner at seven"

I didn't reply, and I didn't join them for dinner either.


	3. Chapter 3

It wasn't an alarm that woke me up for school like I was used to, it was Ray who had in the few hours I had known him fast become a thorn in my side. He opened my bedroom door and stuck his head in announcing that breakfast was ready.

"I'm not hungry" I mumbled, covering my face with my pillow as he drew open the curtains

"You didn't have dinner last night, so the least you can do is eat the pancakes your grandmother made for you. They used to be your favourite, apparently"

The way he said that sounded like he had some resentment in his voice, I threw the pillow of my face my eyes narrowed ready to snap at him about having me here, but he had already left the bedroom, which I refused to call 'my bedroom' because it didn't feel like me at all, despite the posters and photos I had hung up all over the walls last night. This room, this whole house felt so foreign to me.

Wincing as the sunlight hit my face, I noted with surprise the blue sky outside. I had been suspecting a cloudy day, much like yesterday. Maybe La Push was trying to win me over? Well it would take more then blue skies and pancakes to make me like this place.

I shuffled into the kitchen, taking a seat opposite Penny and Ray at the dining table. Penny looked up at me and smiled brightly, Ray continued eating.

I ate for the sake of avoiding a lecture from Ray, showered and threw on a pair of jeans a grey t-shirt and my converse, the yappy dog who's name I discovered was Edgar or Ed for short laying on my bed watching me tie my hair back in the mirror.

I wasn't going to kid myself, I was nervous about today and of course angry. It was bad enough going to a new school, but when I hated academics? I was waiting for this nightmare to get worse, or waiting for myself to snap but the only thing that was making me keep my cool where the words my brother had left me at the airport with, the words that had stung me, they where horrible but true.

Patting down my fringe, I examined myself one last time in the mirror. Nothing was painfully disgusting about me, the bags under my eyes I had grown accustom to after my mother passed away. My sleeping had suffered nightmares, waking up in the middle of and sometimes not sleeping at all. My brother, he told me was suffering the same thing which didn't make me feel so abnormal.

"You lunch is in your bag, the neighbours going to give you a lift to school because your Pop left for work early this morning, and that piece of junk in the driveway doesn't work" She was busy cleaning the dishes from breakfast, and continued rambling "It's only a short drive to the high school, I think you'll really enjoy it there"

Oh I beg to differ. Nodding, I hoisted the satchel bag onto my shoulder giving Penny a nervous smile as she kissed my cheek goodbye, clapping her hands together as she herd a car horn out the front.

"That must be the Clearwater's, go on don't keep them waiting" I felt sick as she ushered me out the front door, Ed barking at me as I walked down the driveway towards the Ute that was parked out the front.

I froze dead in my tracks as no joke, the tallest guy I had ever seen got out of the passengers seat a huge grin on his tanned face, brushing his dark curly hair out of his eyes. He couldn't possibly be at school? Well I guess his face was rather youthful, but dear god he was so tall!

"Hey!" he greeted me enthusiastically as I finally reached the car, his wide smile still on his face as I stared up at him, well his height certainly reinstated the fact I was short.

"Um hi" I couldn't wipe the shocked look of my face as I stared up at him, but he didn't seem to notice at all instead he grabbed my bag and chucked it into the back of the Ute with another school bag.

"I'm Seth, I live next door but I guess your Gran already told you that" I nodded and climbed into the middle seat of the Ute giving the dark haired girl behind the steering wheel a weak smile, she didn't return it and simply nodded. "That's Leah" Seth gestured as he sat beside me, closing the car door "Don't mind her, she is constantly pms-ing"

I didn't know whether to laugh, so I just nodded nervously thanking god that I hadn't laughed when the girl glared over at her brother, reaching over me and punching his arm.

"Ouch, Leah that bloody hurt" Seth whined

"That will teach you to shut your mouth about me" She retorted in a cool tone, as she drove down the street running a hand through her cropped hair, it suited her gave her an edge.

"Whatever," Seth mumbled rubbing his arm, I couldn't help but feel a little squished between the two of them. "So silent girl, do you have a name?"

"Oh shit, sorry I mean yeah I do" I answered, giving him a nervous chuckle

"Well, what is this name of yours?" Seth laughed shooting me an amused glance, I noticed Leah smirking out of the corner of my eye. Well at least they could get a laugh out of me, at my expense of course

"Um Samantha, or you can just call me Sam"

"Nope sorry, can't call you Sam" Seth stated and looked at me pointedly "Already know a Sam, so I'm going to call you Sammy"

"But I hate being called Sammy" Sammy reminded me of being a six year old

"I don't care, having two Sam's will confuse me. You are Sammy"

"Are you always this persistent?" I asked, folding my arms over my chest and shaking me head.

"Pretty much," Leah answered from the other side of me as she turned into the car park of what obviously was the Reservations high school "Except it's called annoying not persistent"

I laughed, as Seth gave Leah a mock hurt look a jumped out of the car, grabbing his bag and passing me mine as I followed.

"Thanks" I smiled, before leaning in the car and looking at Leah "aren't you coming?" I asked, giving her a confused look, I hadn't noticed before that there had only been one bag in the back of the Ute

She shook her head "Nope, graduated last year" Well there goes one potential person I could have known, well at least that left giant boy beside me.

"So you're stuck with me" Seth ruffled my hair, as Leah sped out of the car park, I hadn't noticed while I was in the car but she drove like a maniac.

Swatting his hand away, I furrowed my brow and looked up at him "Well at least I know one person, you're a senior right?" I questioned, he looked like a senior

"Nope" he shook his head, damn I was hoping to at least know someone in my grade and cling onto them for dear life. I wasn't much of a loner, I liked having people around me except lately I had withdrawn myself a lot, which wasn't unusual according to a lot of the books on grieving and death I had started reading

Back in Chicago I had a fairly small group of friends, but they were the best I could ask for. It was devastating when I found out I had to move away, my best friend since preschool Lil was outraged and had attempted to talk her mother into adopting me. Bless that crazy new wave child.

"Don't worry about it though; plenty of my friends are in your grade. I'll introduce you to them" This boy had obviously no idea how awkward these introductions would make me feel, because when I opened my mouth to protest he promptly shushed me and grabbed my arm dragging me towards a table that was on the far side of the quadrangle, a large group of guys and a few girls lounging on and around it

Seth had his hands on both my shoulders and was steering me through the mass of students towards the table, one of them noticed Seth approaching a called something out that I didn't hear clearly, it must have been funny because Seth started to laugh.

"That's Jared" Seth said, referring to boy who had just called out "The girl next to him is his girlfriend Kim " my eyes fell on the girl seated next to Jared her head resting on his shoulder, her dark eyes looking at me curiously

Seth took a seat as soon as we got to the table, next to a tall muscular boy; I stood back nervously the pancakes that I had eaten for breakfast churning in my stomach, threatening to make a return trip

"So Seth who is the girl?" The girl, Kim leaned in whispering to Seth gesturing with a nod of her head in my direction, it seemed with her actions everyone else at the table turned and looked at me. Oh fuck, I needed a bathroom

Seth jumped back up, reaching out and pulling me forward. I clutched awkwardly at my stomach grimacing as Seth introduced me "Everyone this is Sammy, she just moved here yesterday. She's the granddaughter of the Lake's" I waved feebly from besides Seth, before turning back to him

"Oh so your Ray's granddaughter, he mentioned something about you coming to live with them" a tall boy that had been sitting opposite Seth said, standing as if trying to get a better look at me "I'm Paul, by the way I work with Ray sometimes" I nodded, the queasy feeling in my stomach overpowering me as my nerves took control

I was never one for crowds or public speaking, and being in the spotlight much as I was now made me nervous to the point of being sick. I felt like I was some shiny new toy, as all of them looked me over. I still needed a bathroom otherwise one of these people would end up with my breakfast all over them.

"Umm where is the bathroom?" I asked, Seth went to speak but Kim jumped up and grabbed onto my arm

"I'll show you, I'm Kim by the way" she said a huge enthusiastic smile on her face as she led me away from the table, I tried to smile back but all I could manage was a pained grimace "You just moved here yesterday, that's crazy. Where did you move from?"

Oh crap a question that means I would have to provide an answer, which meant talking and I really thought I was going to puke any moment so

"Uh…Chicago" My voice broke mid sentence, and I threw a hand over my mouth Kim giving me a peculiar look before her eyes widened as realisation hit her

"Oh my god, are you going to be sick?" I nodded my hand still over my mouth, my eyes wide mirroring her own as she yanked me through a door, I glimpsed the bold black letters spelling out 'Girls Lavatories' as I was pulled inside

I hurtled myself into the nearest cubicle, Kim must of followed me in because she patted me awkwardly on the back, holding my ponytail out of my face

"How humiliating" I mumbled from my kneeling position, accepting the toilet paper she held out to me, I wiped my mouth as I stood up Kim shooting me a small smile as she grabbed my bottle of water from my school bag and gave it to me

"Well it's not the best thing that can happen to you, but believe me worse has happened…and I should know"

I shot her a sceptical look, downing some of the water "I really doubt that"

"No seriously, when I went on the first date with my boyfriend Jared I was so nervous, when he leant in to kiss me for the first time" She made a vomiting noise gave me a serious look "All over the front of him and I'm not even kidding, it was so embarrassing"

"But it all worked out for the best didn't it?" I asked, I had seen them briefly together when Seth has introduced me to his 'group' of friends they looked like one of those smitten couples

"I guess it did" she smiled, leaning forward she patted down a piece of my fringe "sorry it was bugging me, anyway we better get back class starts pretty soon"

Thankfully no one grabbed my arm to drag me around this time; I just followed Kim back to the table where Seth and all his friends sat. I got to have a better look at the school; it was no where near as big as my last high school the old brick building seemed to be maintained well enough, each of the building marked with faded signs, we passed the art department and I spotted a small door down the side of the building with faded block letters that read 'dark room' I let out a mental sigh of relief, at least they had a photography dark room

"Wait how do I know what class to go to? I don't have a schedule" I questioned Kim, the bell had just rung and Jared came and grabbed Kim's hand

"You'll have to go to the office, its back at the front of the school – you can't miss it" Right, front of the school. I hoisted the satchel bag on my shoulder, returning Kim's wave and nodding when she told me to meet them back there at break, well at least she was being friendly

"Your first class is Biology dear, I'll right you a tardy slip so you don't get into trouble" I nodded at the curly haired woman behind the counter in the office, she pushed her bedazzled spectacles up her nose and gave me a comforting smile "First days are always nerve racking deary but you'll be right"

I returned the smile and examined my schedule, Biology this morning followed by double maths, then break AP Chemistry, Oh the photography that was exciting. At least Ray was kind enough to let me continue with the classes I had been taking.

"Thanks for your help" I called out over my shoulder, shoving my schedule in my bag and then looking at the school map she had given me after I expressed my deep confusion on where I had to go

Walking through the corridors of the school, I stared down at the map. So my tardy slip would probably be useless now because despite this map I had been wandering around for fifteen minutes trying to find the science classrooms – I'd managed to find my locker but couldn't get it open so that was a waste of time

"Screw this" I muttered to myself, screwing up the map and chucking it on the ground, accepting defeat I leant against the wall and slid onto the ground cringing as the soles of my shoes squeaked against the linoleum floor

"Sammy what are you doing?" with the defeated expression still on my face I looked up to find Seth staring down at me, another giant by his side wearing almost identical cut of jeans and a t-shirt this guy however had short, choppy hair that looked like it had been cut by a four year old

"I got lost, couldn't find the science classrooms" I sighed pulling myself off the ground and dusting the back of my jeans

"Right, well Jake's heading that way do you mind taking her? – she's new" I smiled awkwardly and shrugged, I didn't normally let educational establishments defeat me, but this place although smaller then my last school felt like a maze

"Sure, come on I'm heaps late myself" He pointed back down the hallway and I started walking, turning around to find the two whispering hurriedly to each other, Seth seemed to have noticed me staring at them my eyebrows raised curiously because he nudged, Jake was it? Who promptly gave me a smile and came walking over to me

"Right so to biology then?"

"Uh right ok" I managed to mutter out, as I shot him a sceptical look, he didn't seem to notice because he was busy asking me questions about myself

"So what's your name? I know Seth mentioned it" he trailed off and I noticed he was wearing no shoes, come to think of it Seth hadn't been wearing any either – jeez they were pretty lax on their dress code here, but then again the teens here I still assumed where all drugged up troublesome youths

"Samantha, but I just go by Sam" I answered, rubbing the back of my neck nervously as we made our way to the other side of the quad to an old building, almost identical to the one I had just been in.

It felt so odd to me, being nervous around everyone I met I knew it was because of the questions they were asking me, my name, were I had moved from I was dreading someone asking me why I had to move here and why I was living with my grandparents. Would they then feel sorry for me and pity me? I didn't want that, I hated the pity I hated feeling different because I was, for lack of a better word an orphan

"That's right, except Seth has told me to call you Sammy" I let out a groan and Jake laughed

"So your name is Jake?"

"Nah it's Jacob, but yeah Jake is what most people call me"

An awkward silence fell between us and I was desperate to get to class, oh that made me sound like I was eager to learn when I simply wanted to get away from this awkward silence, Jacob was scratching the top of his head, his eyes staring determinedly straight ahead and I was busy playing with a loose thread on my t-shirt

"Right, this is it" Jacob stopped outside a cream coloured door, a frosted glass window in the top centre with the words 'Biology 1' pealing off the glass but before he could open the door someone was already bursting through on the other side, knocking into Jacob and knocking me straight onto my backside

Colliding with the hard floor I let out a yelp of pain, cursing loudly. First being sick in the bathroom, getting lost and now breaking my tail bone this day was turning out to be the best yet

I could hear shouting from inside the classroom, well more like screeching and a few moments later a middle aged woman appeared at the door her sleek black haired pulled back in a tight bun her eyes narrowed threateningly at the offender who had knocked me over

"Straight to the principal's office Mr Call, I won't tolerate your backchat anymore" The woman, I mean the teacher shook her finger disapprovingly at him as I sat on the floor, feeling invisible which made me feel surprisingly comfortable after the unwanted attention this morning

"Mr Black would you please assist Mr Call here to the principal's office, no detours – I'll find!" and with that she slammed the door shut again, Jacob standing there with a dumbfounded look on his face and me still sitting on my ass

Pushing myself off the ground, I stood up brushing my hair out of my face and let out a small cough interrupting Jacob and 'Mr Call' who had taken to recounting the story

"Well don't mind me, I'll just be heading inside – Oh and it's totally ok that you knocked me over as well, no biggie I'll just suffer silently with my broken tailbone"

Not that I cared, but an apology would have been nice. Both of them stopped talking, Jacob looking from myself to the boy that had been kicked out of the classroom who was staring at me with a confused expression on his face

"Who are you?" The guy managed to force out through his confusion "I mean shit, I'm sorry? I'm Embry by the way"

Well he was full of sincerity "Oh wow Embry, well I'm Sam and I thank you for that half assed apology"

He didn't seem taken aback by my sarcasm; instead he narrowed his eyes to mirror my own nasty look. I hadn't meant to be a drama queen about this, but that was one of the problems I had lately, holding my tongue I had a bad case of foot in mouth disease, snapping and just being a right bitch to most people – teen angst what can you do?

"I said I was sorry" he stated, folding his arms across his chest

"I heard you the first time" pushing the door of the classroom open I walked inside, glancing over my shoulder to see Embry glaring angrily after me and Jacob brows raised in surprise at my outburst.

What a lovely start to my first day at school.

**Authors Note – **Ah I know what your thinking, what no Imprint? Yes that's right, this isn't an imprint story it's just your typical story of girl and a guy falling in love with a lot of issues and drama to overcome. I hope you liked the third chapter; it was a bit all over the place just trying to establish the canons in the story. The fourth chapter should be up late next week.


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